


Criminal Minds but BETTER

by ughdotcom



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Ableism, All of these things are committed by unsubs btw, Because he's technically genderfluid, But Pining nonetheless, But there will be pining, Don't copy to another site, Explicit discussion of suicidal thoughts and emotions, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, I hate cops and this will shine through, I'm catering to people with a bad sense of humor, I'm not kidding, I'm pretty sure everyones ooc but does that stop me, Implied/Referenced Suicide, JJ has communication skills and a brain and uses these things, Listen this has literally all the warnings because it's criminal minds fanfic, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Multi, Murder, Mutual Pining, Nico 'If I'm Not Friends With Everyone What's The Point' Wright, Nico is gay trans maybe autistic maybe ADHD and very clingy, Nico just flops onto Reid's bed and is like 'hug me', No Smut, Not So Unrequited Love, Okay so I didn't know if Nico should be tagged as OMC or ONBC, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Original Character, Past Attempted Suicide, Past Rape/Non-con, Pedophilia, Polyamory, Psychological Torture, Rape, Reid and Morgan do not, Sexism, Slow Burn, Slow Burn BUT the focus isn't romance so it's okay, Some of it isn't even going to be romantic, Suicidal Thoughts, That's about Moreid, The fic is going to have a shit ton of cuddling and you can't stop me, These aren't funny but please, Torture, Transphobia, Yes he's a genius yes his IQ is 187 no he doesn't know what feelings are, absolutely not, and yes it is funny, autistic!Reid, but he's presenting as male, everyone teases Reid about how much sugar is in his coffee, fuck cops, however i don't hate smart people who help solve murders, just cops, lots of pining, you read the funny tags and you read the funny fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:35:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22216408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ughdotcom/pseuds/ughdotcom
Summary: Basically Criminal Minds but with good ships and also I'm there being a queen.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Haley Hotchner, As a treat - Relationship, Beth Clemmons/Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi/Wine, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid/Original Character, I can date both Morgan and Reid, JJ is bisexual and polyamorous and so she is dating not only Will but Garcia and Emily screw you, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/William LaMontagne Jr., Penelope Garcia/Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Penelope Garcia/Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Spencer Reid/Original Character(s)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

If you had asked Nico Wright how nervous he would be for his first day of work when he was a teenager he would have said ‘only a bit’, but that was because back then Nico thought he was going to be a teacher. But he was petrified, because instead of teaching a bunch of rowdy teenagers that would misgender him till he forgot he was a he, he was going to work for the FBI.

Anyone who had known him when he was a teenager would have been surprised. Nico was strongly anti-government, but when his friend Eli confronted him, he simply said “solving murders is not the same thing as oppression”.

He got up from where he had been sitting on his bed for the past few minutes, comtemplating whether he should just commit suicide and not have to go to work, and walked into the bathroom. A sticky note was on the mirror in his uneven handwriting: ‘make a good first impression - no hoodies or leather jackets”. He thought that was a bit unfair, he wanted to make a  _ real _ first impression, not a fake one. So the next best thing was over the top.

He pulled on his binder first. He knew one thing he was going to be doing on this job was disappointing medical professionals everywhere. He knew the rules - 8 hours a day, not everyday; but he had decided it would be fine if he just presented as female when he wasn’t working. It wasn’t like he was male all the time anyway.

After he put on the binder he buttoned up a black shirt and put on a dark purple tie. Already this was seeming just too much to him, seeing how on normal days he wore a band tee shirt and black jeans, so he pulled on a pair of black jeans. A purple waistcoat as dark as the tie lay abandoned.

He ran a brush through his tangled mess of hair. It was long, but not too long, like Mike Faist’s. It was also red, and yes, a natural red, unlike so many people seemed to think.

After he was ready, he grabbed his go bag, something Agent Hotchner had said to bring already. He pulled out his phone to confirm when he was supposed to arrive - he had forty-five minutes. Since his phone was already out he texted the pet sitter, to remind them that he would notify them when he left town and they had to feed his pets.

After slipping his phone into his pocket he entered the kitchen. He didn’t make any food, eating in the mornings was something he had stopped doing in middle school, but he filled a portable coffee cup with cranberry juice, because coffee was bitter and gross and sugar had the same effect on him but tasted good.

He pet his pets; Helena the black cat, Rosie the pit bull, and Luna the mutt; and left the house, locking the door behind him, ready to face the day. Maybe. Honestly, probably not, but he had cranberry juice in a coffee cup, and ao3 on his tablet, and what could go wrong when he has those things? Probably a lot, but if he can lock himself in a bathroom and read a short fluffy drabble about Draco and Harry, then he can handle murder.

He got into his car and starts it, plugging his phone into the aux cord and putting his playlist on shuffle before backing into the street.

Nico was always careful not to be an asshole on the street. Before he had gotten his driver licenses changed to Nico Wright and male he had some unfortunate run ins with cops where they didn’t believe that it was his ID. They had made him increasingly suicidal and the only thing stopping him from running his car into a tree afterwards was the reassurance he passed.

To be honest, being in a car probably wasn’t the best thing for his mental health. He had been lucky that Agent Hotchner hadn’t seen through his half truths in the psych eval.

He pulled into the parking lot and entered the building. Still ten minutes to get up to Agent Hotchner’s office before he met the rest of the team. He approached the elevator and pressed the button, waiting for it to come. When it came and he got in, someone called out for him to hold it, which he did.

“Thank you.” they said, breathless. “I haven’t seen you here before.”

He panicked for a few seconds before speaking, having to remind himself that he had taken testosterone and his voice was lower now. “It’s my first day.”

“Oh! Good luck. I’m Emily Prentiss, by the way.” She extended her hand, and Nico shook it.

“Nico Wright.”

“Do you go by Wright or Nico?”

“Nico, preferably. You?”

“Whichever you prefer.”

“You’d be chill with Emily?” Nico internally cursed himself for saying chill in his first impression. This was not the time to be young, no matter how young he actual was.

“Yeah.” Emily grinned. “So, where are you working? You have Counterintelligence Division energies.”

“Behavioral Analysis Unit, actually.”

“Really? That’s what I am too. Going to meet with Hotch?”

“Agent Hotchner? Yeah.”

“You can call him Hotch, although maybe not upon this first meeting.”

“No, he gave me my psych eval.”

“Cool. Good luck.”

“Thanks.” They left the elevator and Emily started walking away, but Nico called out “hey, Emily?”

She turned around “yeah?”

“Where is his office?”

She laughed and gave him the directions. He thanked her and headed to the office, catching a snippet of dialogue.

“Who’s that?” someone said.

“New member.” Emily replied.

“Okay.” Nico risks a glance at them, and almost grins when he sees the boy that asked who he was. Ok, so he’s probably the same age as Nico. Details, details. He’s nerdy, wearing a sweater vest and mismatched socks and what Nico thinks is a  _ Doctor Who _ scarf, from his small bit of knowledge. In other words, he is going to try his hardest to become friends with this kid.

But for now he had to meet with Hotch before they could get to work.

When he entered the office Hotch stood up and extended his hand. “Nice to see you again, Nico.”

“You too, sir.”

“So, do you think you’re ready for this job?”

“I’m pretty sure, sir, but you’re the profiler, you tell me.”

“You’re a profiler too now.”

“Correction: you’re the profiler that isn’t me.”

“You’re nervous. You’re leg is bouncing and your fingers are tapping.”

“Counterpoint: I’m neurodivergent.”

“Not diagnosed.” Hotch pointed out.

“Parents fault.”

“Nico, you  _ are _ a legal adult.”

“True. Maybe I’ll get around to it at some point.”

“You might not have the time now.”

“Thank  _ fu _ \- I mean god.”

“You can swear.”

“Thank fuck.” Nico repeated his sentiment.

“Just please keep it to a minimum.”

“Okay.” he said, considering this a victory.

“So, do you want to meet the team?”

“I’d find it kinda hard to work with people I didn’t know.”

“Come on then.” Hotch led Nico out into the bullpen, where all the agents were all grouped together already. “Everyone, We have a new Agent. Nico, these are Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Jennefer Jereau, Penelope Garcia, and Dr. Spencer Reid.”

Nico waved. “Hey guys. I’m Nico Wright, call me Nico, I’m not asking. If you want you can figure out why I love my name so much. And also, Reid gets to be called doctor and I have to be agent? Unfair.”

“You can be called doctor.” Hotch said.

“Thanks, sir.”

“Okay, everyone, don’t you have paperwork? Prentiss, can you show Nico to his desk?”

Everyone issued different versions of “yes, sir” except for Rossi.

“This way, Nico.” Emily said as everyone went to their respective places. She gestured to a desk by Reid’s. “This is yours.”

“Thank you!” he sat down and set a few things down on the desk, setting down some things to make it more homey: an extra lipstick for when he wore makeup, a small carved wooden fox, a small picture of him with his friends from back home. Then he leaned over to Reid, who was reading.

“Whatcha reading?”

“Oh, it’s not really…” he started, but Nico had already gotten a glimpse of the words on the page.

“Lord of the Rings? Epic, who’s your favorite character?”

“This is my first time reading it actually.”

“Oh, cool! Not to spoil it but it’s literally the gayest thing  _ ever _ , like J.R.R. Tolkein would hate me saying that, but Legolas and Gimli are obviously gay as fuck.”

Reid turned bright red and Nico swore under his breath.

“Sorry if that made you uncomfortable. You not comfortable with gay stuff?”

“No, I’m bisexual.”

“You look it. Can I call you Spencer, by the way?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Great! Wait. I'll be back.” Nico left his seat abruptly and ran over to Garcia’s tech lair and knocked on the door.

“Name the password and enter, mortal.” Garcia’s voice came from inside.

“I’m new, I don’t know a password.”

“Door’s unlocked.”

Nico slipped into the room, and leaned on the counter.

“What do you want, new nerd?”

“Good nickname. So you know how I said for the others to figure out why I like my first name so much? You could probably figure it out is a minute, so can you not help them.”

“Of course. And I tried, so I figured that it was a name change, because there’s no record of you before you were 18, but the only name change I can find is a Nico Spencer to Nico Wright.”

“Dig deeper.” Nico grinned.

“Wait.” she pressed a few buttons.

“Afton Spencer to Nico Spencer, Nico Spencer to Nico Wright. You’re transgender?”

“Yeah.” He said, somewhat sheepishly before adding “Do. Not. Out. Me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Thanks Garcia.”

“Anytime.”

As Nico left her lair he knew one thing: this was going to be a great job.


	2. Chapter 2

The text came at 6 in the morning, and for once Nico had never been happier to be woken up. Throwing on his binder, a My Chemical Romance tank top, black skinny jeans, and a hoodie, he pulled his hair into a lazy ponytail before putting on sunscreen and brushing his teeth. The whole ordeal took only 5 minutes before he was saying bye to Helena, Rosie, and Luna and texting the pet sitter.

“In Jasonville, Indiana 5 children have gone missing. Jack Roberts, 5; Kaylee George, 4; Henry Jackson, 5; Harriet Jung, 6; and Adam Dowling, 5. So far Jack’s body has been recovered. He was restrained and tortured by being burned by cigarettes and hit with sticks. So far we can’t tell whether there has been any sexual assault.”

“He doesn’t have a gender preference.” Emily pointed out.

“He could be bisexual.” Nico said, twisting his black silicone bracelet in his hands.

“Or just a sexual sadist.” Morgan said. “He might be getting off on torturing and killing these kids, no matter the gender.”

“But the age is around five years. He has a preference there.” Spencer said.

“He also doesn’t have a racial preference.” Hotch gestured at the pictures of the kids. Both Kaylee and Henry were African American, and Harriet was Asian.

“So, he doesn’t have any preference besides around five years old.” Nico said “That really narrows it down.”

“Jasonville’s a small town. I’m sure it won’t be hard to find a pedophile.”

Nico snorted. “It’s a small town. Everyone’s fucked up in some way. It’ll be harder figuring out who isn’t a pedophile.”

“Nico, language.”

“Sorry, sir.” he twisted the bracelet three times around itself.

“I’m sure it’s fine, Nico.” Morgan said. “It’s just that we have young ears here.” he gestured to Spencer.

“Hey!” Spencer protested.

“Why weren’t we notified sooner?” Rossi asked.

“Well, that’s the thing. The parents thought the kids were at school, and the teachers thought that the kids were home sick due to this note.” a note popped up on the screen. “According to the principal, James Riley, Amira George, Kaylee’s mother, just moved to town and they didn’t know her handwriting.”

“Dear Mr. Riley and the rest of Jasonville Elementary school’s staff. Unfortunately, Kaylee has become sick, and infected her classmates Jack Roberts, Henry Jackson, Harriet Jung, and Adam Dowling. Their parents have asked me to tell you this, as their children are home sick too, and they are busy taking care of them. I am so sorry, Ms. George.” Nico read aloud. “Wow, that’s… not that believable actually. Small towns are  _ weird _ .”

“Okay. Wheels up in 30.” Hotch says.

They leave the briefing room, and while the others go to their houses to grab go bags, both Nico and Spencer slide theirs out from under their desks. It makes Nico laugh. “Great minds think alike.” He says.

“But fools never differ.” Spencer returns, finishing the quote.

“Yeah, well. You’ve got PhDs, and I bully people into calling me Doctor because I don’t like the way Mister sounds.”

“And Hotch does it?”

“He knows things. I need to run to the store real quick, wanna come? I’ll buy you coffee.”

“Is this a date?”

“No. I’m attracted to women.”

“Ok, I’m just wondering.”

“Because I showed a pointed intrest in the gay subtext in  _ Lord of the Rings _ and I know you’re bi. I get it. Maybe you can figure out why I care about queer subtext. You’re a genius.”

“You can’t define someone’s intelligence by labels like-”

“Spencer?”

“Yeah.”

“If anyone’s a genius, you are. Coming?”

“Yeah.”

He grabs his bag, and they walk down to the parking lot. “So, what do you like, Doctor Reid?” Nico asks, putting his bag on the floor, an action that Spencer mirrored.

“Reading.”

“That’s apparent. You watch TV, or do you think technology is hell on Earth?”

“Technology is ruining-”

“Spencer. Do not finish that sentence, because I don’t want to slap you but I will. Tech is not bad. I’ve had more interactions with humans online then I would get reading. It was also a place I could be myself before my parents accepted I was who I am.”

“You aren’t queer, but you had parent problems?”

“Never said I wasn’t queer. I said I didn’t like boys.”

“What? Are you asexual?”

“No.”

“Aromantic?”

“Nope.”

“Demi?”

“Nuh uh.”

“Abrosexual?”

“No. I do know an abrosexual person though.”

“Transgender?”

“We have a winner!” he pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store. “I was born in a female’s body, and I was like, hey maybe I’m not a girl, and technically? I’m not a boy either. I switch around. But I’m more comfortable with male and he/him than female and she/her.”

“Is that why you don’t like the way mister sounds?”

“Correct again! Hotch thinks it’s just cause I grew up with miss, but it’s doctor or mx for me!” they entered the store, and Nico headed right to the juice aisle.

“Cool. Why are we in the juice aisle?”

“You need coffee, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I need sugar.” he lifted up a large bottle of cranberry juice. “I hate coffee, so I pour this shit into a portable coffee cup and  **bam** instant no one judges me and I’m awake.”

“That isn’t healthy.”

“Uh… neither is the amount of coffee I’ve seen you drink in my one day on the team. I’m not judging you.”

“Yeah, but that’s like pure sugar.”

“So is your coffee.” he set the juice down on the conveyer belt and tossed down a pack of gum.

“You aren’t wrong.”

“Starbucks or some niche coffee place that is homey but also we can’t appreciate it because we have to go to the airport.”

They reached the register and the woman working it is an old lady who should probably have a chair to sit in. The two continued talking, and Nico asked how they should get to the airport.

“You’re such a nice couple.” the lady commented as she bagged their stuff.

“Oh, we’re not.” Nico said.

“Well, you should get a boyfriend soon, little lady. Time’s running out.” Nico visibly flinched when the woman called her lady.

“I’m 27, I have loads of time.” Nico didn’t correct the lady. He knew that once someone thinks that you’re a girl, if it’s someone you probably won’t see again it was best to not correct them. Plus the lady looked half blind.

“No you don’t. I was single at 27, and I’m single now.”

“That is a prospect I honestly wouldn’t mind.” Nico swiped his card through the card reader and grabbed his bag. “Have a nice day…” he glanced at the name tag. “Sharon.”

“Aw, you two honey. And the other girl.” Spencer looked completely mortified, and Nico was laughing silently.

“We will.”

As they left the store Nico started laughing out loud. “Never  _ never _ have I been with a cis guy, and seen him  _ also _ get mistaken for a girl. Kind comforting actually. That lady was blind. Wait no that’s ableist. Sorry. Anyway, I think it’s your hair.” he reached out and ruffled Spencer's hair.

“Should I cut it?” Spencer touched his messed up hair self consciously.

“Absolutely not, I love your hair. Long hair gang. Get in the car now, though, we gotta hurry.”

And hurry they did, with Spencer’s frequent protests of “Nico you’re breaking the law!” and Nico’s frequent rebuttals of “who gives a shit?” and Spencer reminding him that “we work for law enforcement!”

Nico went through a Starbucks drive through before they got to the airport, where they met up with the rest of the team, minus Hotch.

“Never let me be in a car with him again.” Spencer said as a greeting, and Morgan gave a small laugh.

“Aw, pretty boy, does driving the speed limit scar you?”

“No, but breaking the law does.”

“I broke one law, at the most ten.” Nico defended, leaning against the wall. “Are we getting on the plane soon?”

“Yeah, Hotch should be here in” Rossi checked his watch “5 minutes and we get on.”

When Hotch arrived the group boarded the plane and all sat down, Nico sitting by Emily, Spencer, and Morgan.

“Actually, there is one thing I’m confused about.” Reid said as the plane took off.

“Dr. Spencer Reid, admitting he’s confused? It’s the end of the world people, somewhere in Iowa a pig grew wings.” Morgan teased, making Spencer’s cheeks a slight red.

“The note the unsub left, it’s more distinctly female than male.”

“Well, the chances we’re looking at a female that likes to torture are slim.” Rossi said.

“Yeah, females are more likely to kidnap children due to maternal instinct, and then almost always babies.”

“Wait.” Nico said. “Garcia, can you pull up the note again?” Garcia on the screen nodded, and he read it over.

“I misspoke when I read it. I read ‘I am so sorry’. This just says, ‘I’m sorry’. Even if you’re writing it and it’s fake, I’m sorry makes no sense in this context.”

“And I’m so sorry does?”

“I was raised to apologize for everything. I’m so sorry makes sense because it’s someone apologizing for taking their kids out of school, a mother. I’m sorry would normally have a comma after it, the beginning of a sentence. It’s clunky.”

“And you came up with this how?” Hotch’s voice was skeptical.

“I don’t know, it’s just  _ wrong _ . Okay, what I’m getting at is: there’s a female note, but the profile in no way fits a female, and the note says ‘I’m sorry’. What if this is a team? A dominant male who’s torturing, and a submissive female being forced into her role.”

“Even if it’s a dominant submissive team, that doesn’t mean the woman would apologize. Dominant/submissive teams are still built on both working.”

“It could be his wife.” Morgan said. “Married as a cover up, she finds out, figures that if she goes along with this he won’t hurt her.”

“Or, we could be looking too far into this.” Rossi said. “Look, I get it, but the note could have been written by a man using some sort of template. It’s not distinctly feminine if you consider what a note has to include.”

“The handwriting is feminine though,” Reid said.

“Let’s think about this in two ways. Morgan, Reid, Nico, you guys think about it like there’s a team. Rossi, Prentiss, and I will think about it like there’s one unsub.”

Nico took a sip of his cranberry juice. “Sounds good, boss.”


	3. Chapter 3

Some things just felt  _ wrong _ like the way that “I’m so sorry” felt right and “I’m sorry” needed to be followed by more. Nico knew that wasn’t normal, but judging by the way that Spencer had nodded along, the genius with… what was his IQ?... too high IQ further cemented the theory that something was not right about that note. Now they just had to know what. Because that was what profiling was about. Facts, not gut feelings. The problem was that Nico relied on gut feeling a lot. But Nico also relied on facts to overrule anxiety and general social know nothing, so he could do this.

His phone rang.

“Nico Wright.” he answered.

“Do you no longer have my contact? I’m wounded.”

“Hey Eli. And, yes, I still have your contact, but I didn’t look at my phone when answering.” Nico made a motion for Spencer to hold the elevator doors open, and he did. Nico nodded his thanks.

“Boring. Nat wanted some scandal.”

“Hi, Nico!” another voice chimed in.

“Ah, I’m on speaker. Who else is there? Flora? Mona? Adam?”

“None, just us.”

“Aw, shit. I needed to tell Adam that she needs to hurry up on choosing a new name. One of the victims in this case is named Adam.”

The elevator stopped and the doors rolled open and they stepped out. “I’ve got to go, guys, have a fun time not solving murders.” They all said their goodbyes and Nico finished with “I love you guys.” and hung up.

“Friends? Girlfriends?”

Nico laughed. “No, just friends. I love yous can be platonic. I am polyamourus though.”

“I know someone who is. I won’t out her, but I do.”

“Cool. Polyam rights.” Nico unlocked the door to his hotel room and let Spencer in. “Can you text Morgan? We should work on the profile as if it’s a male/female team.”

Spencer did so, and Nico grinned at him. Can I put on music? I work better.”

“I’m legit terrified to know what genre of music you’re into.”

He laughed and gestured at his tank top while removing his hoodie. “Isn’t it obvious?” He pulled out his phone and put his playlist on shuffle. A Taylor Swift song started playing. “I have never been more mortified.” he said deadpan, skipping that song and clearing out the queue of other similar songs. “Don’t tell Morgan.”

When Nico said Morgan’s name a knock sounded on the door, and Spencer went to open it.

“It’s unfair that Hotch is making us stay in here instead of going out and going places.” he said as he flopped down.

“Where even is there to go?” Nico said, sitting on the floor, legs crossed, spreading out the case file.

“Prentiss is at the school, and Rossi and Hotch are at the dump site. JJ’s talking to the parents.”

“Yeah, one of us should be helping. Morgan, you’re antsy, I bet Nico and I could work on this together.”

“No way, pretty boy. I’m helping.” The three sat on the floor and tried to work their way around solving this like a team.

After half an hour Nico flopped down on the floor with a sigh. “I’m getting nowhere with this shit.”

“Okay,” Spencer said, not knowing where to go with that statement. “Are you okay?”

“I will be in a minute.” he stood up and paced the room. “Ok, you guys, I’ll be back in five, I’ve just gotta go take a walk.”

Without saying another word Nico left the room and headed down the stairs and out to the street. He started walking, moving his hands in frustrated little circles. A 

woman looked at him strangely. He moved them faster, glaring at her. He pulled out his phone with one hand the other still spinning.

“Nico?” his friend answered.

“I need help on this case.”

She laughed, “k, one sec.” there was the sound of movement on the line. “Ok, start talking.”

“Five kids have gone missing, one’s turned up dead. The entire set up of the case indicates male behavior, torture and murder, but the note left to the school describing the kids absence is written in female handwriting and has a distinctly female way of speaking.”

“Read it.”

“Dear Mr. Riley and the rest of Jasonville Elementary school’s staff. Unfortunately, Kaylee has become sick, and infected her classmates Jack Roberts, Henry Jackson, Harriet Jung, and Adam Dowling. Their parents have asked me to tell you this, as their children are home sick too, and they are busy taking care of them. I am sorry, Ms. George.”

“Definitely female.”

“Yeah! Even the handwriting’s female.”

“How were they tortured?”

“Cigarette burns and hit by sticks.”

“Restrained?”

“Yes.”

“Cause of death?”

“Slit wrists.”

“Ok, so I’m just spitballing here, and I’m not a real FBI agent, nor is this supported by any type of profiling, but what if it is a maternal instinct? Some lady was abused that way and veiws it as parental love, and some sibling of hers commited suicide via slitting of the wrists.”

“But why five years? That’s way too young for someone who commited suicide. I didn’t get to that point till I was 13.” Nico felt Mona’s grimace behind the phone.

“Maybe she was five years of age when her sibling offed themself.” she said, purposefully not bringing up Nico’s comment, or Nico hoped that was the truth.

“Oh my god! Mona, Mona, you are a bonafide genius!” he jumped up and down in a small circle, gaining some dirty looks from other people on the sidewalk. “I love you! Ok, I’ve got to go tell the team. Thank you, thank you!” he hung up and ran back to the hotel, not bothering to take the elevator due to how much he needed to move.

He burst into the room. “Guys, I think my friend figured it out!”

“On the first day?” Morgan said skeptically. “Also Hotch wants us.”

“Don’t underestimate Mona. She should def be in my place. Also that’s good.”

“Why isn’t she then?” Spencer said, grabbing his coat.

“I have no fucking clue, my dude. Come  _ on _ we gotta go tell Hotch!”

As Nico ran down the streets he explained to them Mona’s idea.

“That has no basis in profiling.” Morgan objected, but Nico just shrugged.

“I think it works.”

Spencer lost his breath a block before they reached the police station, so they walked that block before bursting in and hurrying to the conference room.

“Oh good you’re here.” Hotch said. “I need you to go to the parents' houses. JJ and Prentiss are already at Jack’s dad’s house, then they’re going to Henry’s parents.” his frown deepened, and Morgan gave him a sympathetic look, confusing Nico.

“Reid, you and Morgan go to Amira George’s house, then Harriet’s parents. Nico, you’re going to Adam’s dads with me. Rossi’s staying behind.”

“Um, actually sir, I-”

“Please save it for the car.” he said, and they split up.

“Why me?” Nico asked once Hotch was driving to the Dowling’s place. “You seemed pretty insistent that it had to be me.”

“Well, you, Reid, JJ, and Prentiss are the only queer people on the team. JJ is necessary to comfort Jack’s parents, and Prentiss went with her so Rossi and I could await your return. Reid is… not great at sympathy, and I’m often viewed as gruff. Together we could not really help people sympathize.”

“When you said dads you didn’t mean dad apostrophe s.” Nico said in realization. “You meant dads plural.”

“Yes. Do you mind…”

“Hotch, I don’t know how to tell you this, but we’re in Indiana. These guys might be openly gay, but that’s no garantee that either of them will take well to a trans man popping up and being like ‘we’re both queer. Tell me what happened to your son’.”

“Warlock Dowling is nonbinary.”

“Oh. Ok. What are their names?”

“Adam and Warlock Dowling.”

“Their kid is Adam jr?” Nico scoffed.

“Apparently.”

“Anyway, how’d you know Warlock was nonbinary?”

“The first thing I do during child abductions is have Garcia run background on the parents. Apparently he posts about it online extensively.”

“And it is a he?”

“Yes, he/him and male honorifics except for mx.”

“Cool. I’m gonna try to look more feminine, kay?” Hotch nodded. Nico removed his hoodie, pulling at his tank top to show his binder around the sleeves and throat. He pulled his ponytail out and redid it so his hair had no part, making his face more feminine shaped. He put chapstick on and checked how he looked in the mirror. “I’d take my packer out, but I’m in a car with my boss.” he joked.

“Nico.” Hotch sighed, and Nico apologized.

“Anyway, I was thinking, and I prefer Agent to doctor, seeing how I don’t have a doctorate or anything.”

“That’s fine. You don’t have to do this, you know.”

“It’s okay, I can do it.”

“I didn’t say that you couldn’t. I said you didn’t have to.”

“What are the chances they’ll out me?” Nico said. “It’s safe, and it’ll help them feel safe.”

Hotch had no answer as he pulled up to the Dowling house and they got out and knocked on the door. A person answered it. He had hair the same length as Nico’s, but it was dark brown. His eyes were icy blue. He let them in.

“Hello, I’m Aaron Hotchner, and this is Nico Wright.” Hotch shook Warlock and Adam’s hands.

“Call me Nico.” Nico said, shaking their hands.

Warlock and Adam sat on the couch, their knees brushing, but nothing else touching.

“Mr. and Mx. Dowling, I’m so sorry to have to ask you this, but do you remember anything strange from the past week that could have to do with Adam Jr.’s disappearance?” Nico asked.

“No.” Warlock said. “Everything was normal until…” he sobbed.

“Mx. Dowling, it’s imperative that we know this. Knowing whether Adam Jr. and the other four kids were chosen or victims of opportunity will drastically change who the killer is.” Nico elbowed his boss, and Hotch gave him an  _ I’m sorry but I have too _ .

Adam closed his eyes and thought for a moment. “There was a van. We’d recognize if it was John Peters - you know the farmer? - or the electrical guy’s van, but it was just a plain white van. We complained about it at the town hall meeting last friday. The people on the other victims' blocks saw it too.”

_ Do not say holy shit do not say holy shit do not say holy shit _ Nico reminded himself. “Okay.” he settled on.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: my self insert in this fic has attempted suicide. I, as of the writing of this author's note, have not. "but Nico", you say "isn't that bad then to appropriate suicide" yeah, but the way my mental health is going (down) the chances of me trying to... ya know... sometime is high. I'm not going to yet, because my fics keep me going, and also my obsessions (MOM), but this disclaimer has to be known beforehand. Also, please be warned that this fic is gonna get worse from here.

They left the house after talking to Warlock and Adam to get all the details about the van: it was white, the licence plate had 420 in it (Adam’s godfather had noticed), The person driving it had long brown hair and wore a baseball cap.

“I vote it’s a female.” Nico said as he entered the car, pulling his hoodie back on and fixing his hair again. “Long hair, female handwriting. I called my friend and she came up with a good theory.”

Hotch sighed, but simply said “okay.”

“Okay, so cigarette burns and beaten with sticks. The note was in female handwriting. Women kidnap in a maternal way…”

“You think the unsub was abused and only knows how to show love that way.” Hotch finished.

“Yep.”

“Explain the wrists.”

“Well, she thinks that maybe the unsub’s sibling commited suicide when she was about 5.”

“There isn’t profiling to back this up.”

“It makes sense.”

“It does.”

The rest of the car ride was done in silence.

When they pulled up to the station, the police chief, a man named Drew Hardy, was pulling a man out of his police car. The man’s face was twisted in anguish. Nico and Hotch got out of the car quickly. “What are you doing?” Hotch demanded.

“Well, the guy’s obviously a pedophile.” Hardy defended, “and this guy was found creeping around the elementary school.”

“Our unsub’s a woman.” Hotch said angrily. “You can put him in the interrogation room, but uncuff him. Now.” Hardy reluctantly unlocked the handcuffs and the man immediately clapped his hands over his ears. “Nico, you take him to the interrogation room. Chief, we need to talk.” As Hotch led Hardy away, Nico led the  man to the interrogation room. He didn’t turn on the lights, just grabbed a pen and paper.

_ Can you talk? _ He scrawled, and the man shook his head.  _ Okay. and I’m guessing the ears are a no. _ the man nodded.  _ Overwhelmed? I get it. Just breathe. Go to a happy place in your head. _ He nodded again. After a few minutes he took his hands off his ears.  _ Can I talk now? _

“Yes,” he said quietly. “But softly.”

“I’m Agent Nico Wright. Call me Nico. What’s your name?” His voice was soft, not a whisper, but almost.

“Jason Darwin.”

“Okay, Jason, you ok with Jason?, I know that you didn’t kidnap those kids, and I’m willing to bet that what Chief Hardy described as ‘creeping’ was you just walking, but with a healthy dose of ableism on his part. Is that true?”

“Yes.”

“Why were you by the school?”

“It’s on the way to the store.”

“Are you autistic?”

“Yes.”

“Do you walk to the store every day?”

“Every other morning, but I forgot the milk this morning.”

“Did you see anything strange this morning?”

“Yes, a woman with five kids with her. They weren’t hers, she was white and three weren’t.”

“Could you describe the woman to a sketch artist?”

“I could draw her.”

Nico slid the pen and paper over to him. “Go ahead.” Jason took the pen and started sketching the woman. She had a round face, her hair was long and brown, to her shoulders.

“That’s her.” he said.

“Thank you.” Nico said. “You can leave.”

“Can I stay in here for a bit? It’s very bright outside.”

“Of course.” Nico got up and left the room. Hotch and Hardy were right outside. “I got a sketch.” he held up the pad of paper.

“We can’t keep him in there.” Hardy protested.

“Chief.” Nico grimaced over having to be respectful “with all due respect, that man is having some major sensory overload. If he wants it to be dark and quiet for a bit, I’m not denying him, and you shouldn’t either.”

“We can’t have that room taken.”

“We’ll take him out of there when we get a suspect.” Hotch said. Nico wasn’t sure whether he agreed with him, or if he could see that he wouldn’t back down, but he was grateful anyway.

The group went back to the conference room, where the whole team was. Hotch told them Mona’s reasoning.

“We should give the profile.” The team nodded, and Hotch notified Hardy.

“This unsub is driven by both maternal and sororal instinct.” Hotch started “She is looking for children that fit her perfect ideal of a child, however, for her that just means around five years old.”

“She was abused, so she connects being a parent to the way she tortured the kids.” Morgan said. “Her abuse was most likely by her mother.”

“When she was around the age of the victims, an older sibling or friend commited suicide. This wrecked her, and she thinks of it as the end of her life.” Emily continued.

“She doesn’t want to kill the kids, but she may ask them something along the lines of ‘do you want to leave’ or ‘is that enough’. When the kid answers yes, she kills  them. The lack of other bodies suggests that she does this in front of the other children.” Nico said.

“This is a sketch of the unsub. She has brown hair and white skin.” Reid finished. “Her car is a white van with 420 as a partial plate. She most likely lives isolated, because she has the space to keep these children without people noticing.”

They walked back to the conference room, and Morgan called Garcia. “Baby girl, you’re on speaker.”

“Ooh, how voyeuristic.” She said, “What wisdom do you need from me today?”

“Look for females with a white van, partial plate 420.”

“I’ve got 4.”

“Look for one who’s sibling commited suicide, and who came into the ER with cigarette burns and bruses.” Nico said.

“I’ve got one. Emma Goodman. Her older brother, Thomas, commited suicide when she was five years old. Her mom and dad abused her, and they both died of a murder suicide. The dad shot the mom and slit his wrists, it was all very suspect, because he was right handed and the gun was found in his left, but because he was a despicable person the police never investigated. I’m sending all the information now.”

Their phones pinged.

“Let’s go.” Hotch said. They all left their seats and headed to their cars. “Nico, you ride with me.”

“I call shotgun.” Nico deadpanned. Emily from behind her groaned. As they entered the car Hotch spoke.

“Nico, I think you should be the one to talk to Goodman.” both their eyes traveled to the same place, Nico’s wrists, the pentagram tattoo, the semicolon tattoo, and the scar stark between them.

“She’s not going to like me. I’m everything her brother was.” he said self consciously, tracing the scar and the tattoos with his fingers. “Maybe worse. I lived. He didn’t.”

“You can apologize for him.”

Nico sighed. “I can. But I don’t want it on any records. You pulled a few strings to get someone who attempted suicide on the team. I’m not getting kicked off right away.”

“Of course.” Hotch said.

One of Nico’s fingers traced the scar absentmindedly. “How do I apologize for something I’m not ashamed of?”

“The same way I apologize for actions that saved the day. Fake it.” a small smile dusted Hotch’s face, disappearing as quick as it came.

“Never been good at that.” he said, more to himself than anyone else.

“Your tell is eye contact, Nico. Stop trying to make it when you lie. If you can’t look in eyes, you can’t look in eyes.”

From the back Emily laughed. “Only a few people’s tells are things that usually mean they’re truthful.”

“I’m a unique person. Wait. Does this mean you  _ knew _ I was bending the truth in the psych eval?”

“You aren’t subtle. But you weren’t lying about not wanting to die in action. That meant you’d be fine.”

Nico raised his eyebrow at Emily in the rearview mirror.

“I saw that, agent.” Hotch said as they turned to where Emma Goodman lived. It was a large farm, plenty of area to hide children. Nico sighed and wiggled out of his hoodie so his scars were visible.

“Here we go.” Emily muttered under her breath, and Nico couldn’t agree more.


End file.
